POETRY
"In darkness we embrace
our light and within the light we embrace our darkest moments"
STARLIGHT - Dark Night of the Soul
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Book now available at Amazon
Pacific Ocean
Even so your water is cold,
it has a warm glow.
It lights up the fire inside of me.
With you, I travel to far away places.
You remind me of home.
A place somewhere else.
It feels we meet between time.
Reality changes when I am near you.
Your message is peace.
I feel it in every cell.
Your DNA is connecting with mine.
We are the same.
I want to jump deep into you.
Be carried by your waves.
Feeling your heartbeat next to mine.
When I am with you,
I lose track of everything around me.
You draw me to my center.
Sorrow melts, depression transforms.
At your shore I become alive.
At your shore I become eternal freedom
once more.
Shadows
Shadows are still lingering.
My life feels spell cast.
Am I the witch causing it?
So much is still unknown.
Ancient wisdom speaks of change.
But who to trust?
It's hard to trust.
I did it before and then I fell.
What's different this time?
Alone, always the same...
Searching for answers.
Looking for guidance.
But do I even listen?
Maybe guidance is here,
and I am just too afraid?
Who knows?
Maybe I have run out of courage.
Maybe I have learned to fly instead.
Life goes on...
It takes me under its current.
I must survive.
Soul Imprints
Tears are running down my cheeks.
Sharp as a knife.
Imprints of the dark night of my soul.
They carry me inside, where sorrow lies.
I’m overwhelmed.
There is no solid ground to stand upon.
Everything can be taken in the blink of an eye.
Darkness captures me.
I’m such damaged goods. The strength in me is gone. Everything burns to ashes.
It’s impossible to get up and face another day.
I’m marked by my pain.
Life is running through my fingers.
Love won’t find a way.
I surrender my power to the universe,
hoping it will turn my life around.
Until then, I just wait for another sun to rise
and set.
Lost Love
Love burns my soul.
Forever yours, never close.
Like a casted spell upon you and me.
I am never free.
I dream of you, but I will never be with you.
You are gone, and you never leave.
Don’t know how to go on.
Dying to know why you didn’t try harder.
Loving me from a distance.
Your heart is like a frozen river.
Your touch is like the devil’s hand.
Leaving scars that never heal.
Take me away, this time for real.
Our last night on earth will break the spell.
I hold you in my arms.
We will be immortal.
Winter
Rain upon a new season, wind and thunder.
Washing away memories of summer days.
The whisper of the wind.
Winter is coming
Time to retreat inside.
The fire is burning, inviting me home.
It’s a time of love and comfort.
A time of new beginnings.
Wrapped in a blanket I am ready to embrace
the cold.
I am ready to let my heart soften.
Your warm body next to mine.
Full Moon
I saw you shine this morning.
You are a reminder of another time.
You stand beyond darkness.
Reality and mystery are both part of you.
You don’t fight it, I envy you.
My light is not bright anymore.
Once we were friends.
Now you seem light years away.
What happened out there?
I know both worlds exist.
It’s real, even so it’s hard to believe.
Neither here nor there, lost in the ether.
I wish for my powers back.
I wish I could stand as strong as you.
Unwavering.
My destiny is written in the stars.
It feels like a myth to me.
Built upon dreams and imagination.
An abandoned fairy tale.
My soul is crying for all that never was.
Missed chances and broken promises.
For nothing but suffering.
Home is not here; I have known it all my life.
That’s why I feel you.
Knowing, I will shine with you once more.
Returning
Flying but never arriving.
Crossing oceans forth and back.
Where does this journey end?
Even when I close my eyes my mind never rests.
Sometimes I feel like jumping off a bridge.
Not knowing if I make it.
It’s taking a risk, when all I want is safety.
I am supposed to trust.
Life can be a cruel joke to an innocent soul.
Returning to square one.
Done Pretending
I can’t shake or deny my feelings.
It would be a living lie.
I feel the pain. I am not in vain.
Don’t want to fight it anymore.
I am not an angel.
I have fallen to the ground.
I am human now.
I am done pretending.
The ground is shaking.
The earth is crumbling.
Everything is falling apart.
I am done pretending.
Will I ever walk again?
Take a risk?
Stand upon a mountain?
Standing still takes so much will.
I know I am meant to walk.
But where to go from here?
I want to give up.
I am done pretending!
Alone
I go to bed alone.
Your smell, even my memory of you is gone.
I am afraid of what will become of me.
I am afraid of being alone.
I am afraid of the dark.
There is nothing left that’s familiar.
I am all alone.
In this night. In this bed.
During this time.
My heart is heavy. It’s beating by itself tonight.
Darkness swallows me.
It drags me to the ground.
I wander through my past, watching for clues.
Wondering where it all went wrong.
I miss the light you brought into my life.
But I am yearning for someone that acknowledges my gifts and my limits.
Someone that wants to be by my side.
Two Worlds
Two worlds collapsing.
What a mess.
Surfing waves of energy.
No clear picture.
Just stardust.
Hoping for the fog to lift.
Miracles exist.
Just not sure, if they can still
touch this world.
So many rules not helping.
So many structures built from fear
and hate and selfishness.
So much love pouring in from
the cosmos.
Where will it go?
Death or a new beginning?
Or is it the same?
The way I’ve been walking is on fire.
I taste the smoke.
It’s burning me to the ground.
Will I rise from the ashes?
Will the wind carry my thousand pieces
back to the stars?
"The only thing worse than fighting is
if there is nothing left to fight for."