CANADA
"Freedom found...
Freedom lost...
Searching for the wild...
Searching for love...
A new chapter...
In a never ending story..."
"The Voice"
But before we start the story, please get your self some fresh coffee or a cup of hot tea, add some sweets :-). Turn on your fireplace (if you have one) and light some candles. Cuddle in your warm cozy blanket, put up your feet and relax. Look...your beverage is still steaming, take a sip, taste its aroma, bite in your cookie, feel the sweet soft crunch,…mmh, perfect!
Part one
Once upon a time there was a young girl who fell in love with a country, “Canada”. She couldn’t help herself. Over and over she’d return to Canada. She needed to be with her Love like she needed the air to breathe. But of course, like every other love story, it had its ups and downs. She romantically fell in love with Canada over a whitewater rafting trip on the Ottawa river. The sunshine was reflecting on the surface of the water, cold splashes of water were refreshing her face and arms on a hot autumn day. In the evening she was grilling marshmallows over an open fire with her aunt, while watching the million stars sparkle above her, calling her name. It was like her name was written all over the land, through the night sky and in the mighty pine trees, framing the side of the dusty road when she arrived at the camp. It was an instant love affair. Visiting the library of Toronto, during that holiday, she knew she’d one day live in Canada.
After returning to Germany, her home country, Canada kept calling her. A calling she couldn’t miss. Since she was a child, she loved watching movies that played in the Rocky Mountains, ah… even the sound of the Rocky Mountains gave her chills. She loved to watch the movie “Snow Tigers” and “Grizzly Adams” and dreamed of this far away place since she was a kid. Funny enough, once she applied for jobs in Canada, she got one in Calgary, very close to the Rocky Mountains, and yet, she wanted to be even closer. She wanted to cuddle with her mountains, smell them, be with them, touch them, step on them, have lunch on their mighty tops and put her toes in those cold deep blue turquoise lakes nestled among them. It was a pull she couldn’t resist and she had to convince her husband to join her and so they both moved to Canmore, Alberta, the heart of the Rocky Mountains. It was a playground. During that time, she’d explored many trails in the back country, learned about bears and cougars and how to read the signs when they were close by. She learned how to snowshoe and felt closer to her movie heroes than ever. It was paradise. At least for a while.
Emerald Lake Lodge in BC Canada is a jewel. Like a diamond in a winter wonderland. It sparkles across distance and time, reflecting the stars in the dark blue sky. The stars felt so close at night, she thought she can touch them. There was a beautiful snowshoe-trail around the lake, one of her favorites. She can still feel the air, dry and cold with a harsh wind, against her face and yet the warm glow of the afternoon sun on her back, turning the snowy surface in a soft golden shimmer. The last part of the trail winds through a thick forest and for the first time in her life she could feel the fairies. She didn't see them (oh, she wish she would have...) but she could sense their presence all over the place. Once, she celebrated her birthday here but often she just came for the day or one night. The rooms were gorgeous, each one had their own wooden fireplace... Sitting in front of it, she used to listen to the crackling fire, sipping on a glass of wine and looking out the window. Frost on each corner of the window frame. In the distance, the mountains were longing for the stars, while the lake silently fell asleep in this frozen valley, like a sleepy giant white ice bear. The pine trees were covered in snow and were still wearing their christmas lights. There was also a hot tub, what a feeling relaxing in there, after a
long cold walk. The lodge itself had a huge real wood burning fireplace and it was the perfect place to hang out during a snowy day and just enjoy a lovely cup of hot chocolate. This place was truly one of a kind and she felt like in a fairy tale, every time she visited.
This was the lovely restaurant on the way to the lighthouse. She loved to stop there for a yummy Latte and some fresh baked goodies. It was such a cozy place, overlooking the ocean and beautiful grounds to walk. It was so well-maintained with comfy outdoor chairs, lots of grass and flowers and a private short pathway to the ocean.
In kind of good spirits, she returned home to Canmore. Deep down she was of course hoping she could avoid the disaster and jump right into the next chapter of her life, even so she didn’t have a clue what that would even be. It was very hard for her to let go of her past and the last ten years she spent in Canada. Going back to Germany was the last thing she wanted but the only thing she could do.
And here comes the sad part of the story. Her husband decided to move back to Germany either by himself or with her. They were almost broke financially, she was unemployed and couldn’t find another job, she tried for months. Rent was way above average and impossible to pay by herself and she became news that her dad was very sick.
Part two
Against all her inner demons, she gave in and went back to Germany. After living with her parents for a few weeks she moved into shared accommodation. A few months after that she was able to buy a small car and no longer had to depend on the train, which was such a relief. She felt the car gave her at least a little bit of freedom back. She took a job at the university, where she graduated, and life seemed kind of settled. Well, at least on the outside. On the inside she was not settled at all, she was a mess.
She never adjusted to the German culture and missed the freedom she felt in Canada. She missed it so badly, she’d cried herself to sleep most nights. She missed the Rocky Mountains, even so she got tired of hiking and the strenuous elevation gain every weekend. Yes, Canada wasn’t perfect, like no relationship is ever perfect but it was love, true love and here, in Germany, it was just surviving, one day after another. She tried to find happiness in little things, like the first sun rays in spring or reading a nice line in a book that captured her heart or her favorite, having coffee at a beautiful café. Germany has very nice and fancy café’s. But this finding happiness in little things felt like lying to herself, it didn’t work, at least not long term. She became numb inside and the guidance she once felt and heard seemed to be lost. Nothing was speaking to her anymore and since she already separated from her husband, she decided to make a bold move.
She strategically looked for a good place to settle in Canada once more and decided to try it in Kelowna, BC. But oddly enough she didn’t feel the joy or excitement she felt before when she traveled to Canada. It felt like a desperate attempt to get out of the rat-race she felt stuck in. Her heart wasn’t in it, not this time, even so her love for Canada itself never faded. She just didn't feel it for Kelowna, it was a "mind-decision" because of it's location and employment market. Nevertheless, she gave herself three months to establish herself in Kelowna and rented a vacation home for this time.
The flight felt long and tiresome and her spirit still seemed nowhere to be found. She made it through her days in Kelowna. Luckily, the apartment was within walking distance to the city, since she didn’t have a car. Not having a car really sucked for her. She wasn’t comfortable taking the buses, it just wasn’t her thing and no matter how often she tried, it never got better. She went to an employment agency to get a job but there weren’t any jobs available and she failed in all the word and excel tests, even so she knew the programs and has worked with them before. Nothing seemed to come easy or work out for her. She couldn’t even make friends or find connections with people anywhere. She spent most of her days in bed and the downward spiral began. No jobs, no friends and the money, she worked so hard for in Germany, was running through her fingers. All the heartbreak, and everything that happened over the last years, made her soul wince. She felt being sore to her core and underneath her smile she was wearing a sadness that felt like a dark heavy cloud. Since she quit her job and apartment in Germany, there
was nothing to return to either, except her cat, which she missed deeply. Not being able to solve her problems, she went to yoga instead, almost every day and prayed for a miracle by the dolphin statue at the harbor. The statue was lit at night and felt magical to her and in magic she still trusted. The yoga helped her to calm her mind and find peace, at least for the rest of the day. It was a place where she felt unconditionally loved and re-connected with herself. So, in time, the guidance came slowly back, not as strong as by the Atlantic Ocean, but more like a whisper. First, she hardly noticed it, but it was persistent and repeated itself over several days and weeks. She walked down main street one afternoon and heard a soft voice inside of her:
"To keep writing her poetry because one day she will publish it as a book."
It seemed so silly to her at the time but she also felt a truth in it, a knowing. That’s when she started writing poetry. She loved being in coffee shops or on a bench at the water, letting herself pour words on a piece of paper. It kept her occupied. It was the only time she felt inspired and was able to forget about the mess her life truly was. Weeks later, she was back at the dolphin statue after a restoring yoga class. It was a warm night, the first stars showed up on the horizon and all the lights along the pier where lit. It felt almost romantic and she soaked in this feeling of romance and then, there it was again, this whisper that told her:
"To go back to Germany and try another time. This is not the right place nor the time”.
Part three
Two months later she went back to Germany, again looking for a place, looking for a job. Same old, same old. Life felt like a bad joke and the guidance she received in Halifax felt like a lie. But there was nothing she could do, other then surrender to her life right now, in this moment, here, back in Germany. She got her own place and found some pleasure in furnishing it. It felt good to finally have her own space. She also got a job at the district office, a better one than the one at the university and it almost seemed like her life came back together once more, at least on the surface. She kept writing poetry and dived into her new job. It gave her the feeling of being valued and her self-worth increased, so did the savings on her bank account. Well, finally, she actually had a savings account again. It felt like a good strategy to just work and ignore all the other stuff. The feelings she felt over the years were still there, the hurt, the disappointment, the betrayal, the loss of her dad, all of it. Her heart never healed when it came to Canada and the way she had to leave Canmore so long ago. How they dissolved all their belongings in two weeks, emptied their garage and their home, gave away all their private items, the tears she cried on the inside and outside, the medication she had to take to not fall apart completely. She put all that pain in a big fat bag and stored it like garbage in her subconscious mind hoping it would never re-suffice again, because she didn't know what else to do with it. It seemed impossible to heal. Instead she collected over hours at work and accumulated her holidays. She worked straight through for one year and it didn’t take that long for her to start feeling really tired, but she ignored it too. She didn't want to change anything anymore. She was angry that her life didn’t turn out the way she wanted. Recently, it almost felt like Canada broke up with her, like lovers often do; out of nowhere, for no apparent reason. But she had this knowing:
"That someday she will need the money and the holidays she saved."
As usual, it didn’t makes sense, because her dreams had vanished in the mist of reality, like Avalon vanished into this mysterious fog. In time her tiredness turned into fatigue and into depression. On the inside she hated her life. She still wanted to live in Canada but didn't know how to move back or where to live there. She told herself over and over that there was no way to ever return. It was decided and she had to survive here. She forced herself to go up in the mornings and slowly her body started to break down. She just couldn’t get out of bed anymore. It felt like “burnout” even so the official diagnosis was “exhaustion”. She got on a sick leave for a few months.
On many days she just didn’t want to wake up anymore to her life. None of it felt true or authentic. It felt like living someone else’s life. One day was particularly bad and she went to bed praying, not having to face another day on this earth. Her prayer was heard by the universe but in a different way. Instead of not waking up, she had a soul dream that night:
"All of a sudden she found herself in a tunnel with all the stuff that was her life; the job she secretly hated, her still husband and their messy relationship and her life in Germany in general. Each part was like it’s own chapter in a book. She was flying through the tunnel, passing by each "chapter", just watching it, as she moved ahead, further and further away, until she came out the tunnel and stepped on a beautiful beach. But no other part of her life was able to follow her, all the messy parts stayed in the tunnel, only she could enter the island. It reminded her a lot of Vancouver Island, which she visited a few times while she was still living in Canada. Simultaneously it also felt like the island belonged to another dimension or planet. She met a group of highly evolved people gathering and discussing the building of a new retirement home or hospital. It was a different kind of conversation than the ones she was used to. Somehow money wasn’t even part of the discussion, all that mattered was that the "well being" of all people was equally considered and the outcome was, what was best for the entire community. It was like they could create their own wealth and didn’t even have to think about money. They didn’t notice her, but she was very impressed and wondered where on earth she was. She started to feel the wet sand underneath her feet, slightly cold but comfortable, since it was a warm day. Finally it hit her, that she was standing in the ocean… the freaking ocean, she loved so much! She could feel how her life force was coming back by the minute as she started walking along the shoreline with its old growth rain forest. A colleague of hers, was walking by her side for support. The woman just appeared on her side. They never talked, they just walked in silence. There was an incredible peace on the island and she started to notice the tiny little waterfalls all over the place, cascading down a cliff or rock. The water was refreshing cold. She stood underneath a smaller waterfall and let the water cleanse her body and soul. It felt vibrant when the cold water dropped on her face from above. She started to feel like herself again and also more grounded. Her spirit was returning, and her soul became alive when she looked across the ocean in the wide-open horizon. There was so much space and freedom. Feelings she has forgotten they even existed…."
Then she woke up.
The dream felt extraordinary real and the feeling lingered in her soul for the rest of the day. The island reminded her a lot of Tofino, a small town on the west coast of Vancouver Island. It felt so familiar to her, even so it felt out of this world. But she knew it happened at the region of the West Coast. The rain-forest and waterfalls, she saw them before, and the wild Pacific Ocean. She knew the ocean was once her home, before she was even born and she remembered… She wished she could have stayed on the island instead of waking up to a reality she despised.
The days went by and turned into weeks and months and even years. She forgot about her dream, even so she wrote it down and went back working, still feeling fatigue and broken.
Part four
Years passed and one time in spring, the universe made her travel to Idaho, USA. Let’s keep the reason for this trip a secret. But let's just say, there was no other way for her then flying to Idaho. She didn’t even go there for guidance or anything. This trip had a completely different intention but despite the intention, her guidance came through once more and she was able to re-connect with herself for the very fist time again after her dream, years ago.
She walked among pine trees along the shoreline of Coeur d’Alene. Little rocks were overlooking the deep blue waters and invited her to take a seat and enjoy the view. The snow was already melting, and the sun came out during midday. This was the time she usually waked along the trails of Tubbs Hill, a natural reserve. It reminded her a lot of Canada and memories were coming back like shooting stars. She had forgotten how much she loved spending time in this setting. Making friends with this gorgeous lake and one of the tall pine trees she passed. There was an urge inside of her to hug this one tree to her left and when she did, she felt the tree’s view from above. It was a very tall tree and it surprised her, how grounded the tree was considering how tall it looked; like any storm could just knock it over. But this was far from the truth. The tree was very deeply grounded within the earth and she remembered how that felt like. Being grounded was never her thing. By nature, she was never really in her body. The warm sunlight created a nice smell of fresh sweet wildflowers. She wondered if it was possible to sample this smell one day and make it a fragrance and wear it on a date.
She finally took the invitation from the rocks earlier and settled on a cliff. The view was gorgeous. There was a lightness and an inspiration to this lake that was magical. It felt like everything came alive at once. The trees, the lake and the space in between, all started talking to her. She received their messages in feelings and as a knowing. It was like the energy from her surroundings came alive in her DNA and started to form sentences in her mind. The lake was incredible chatty, probably the chattiest “body of water” she had ever met. He told her:
"To let go of what brought her to Idaho in the first place and instead starting out on her own journey."
Like the Atlantic Ocean, he also told her:
"That her life was just about to start and there will be lots of traveling involved between countries and even continents."
He promised her:
"That she will succeed and the change that was coming will be a good one."
It was like she picked up where she left of in Halifax while visiting the lighthouse so many years ago.
Once she was sitting on a trunk at one of its golden sandy beaches and the lake insisted:
"That she must start her journey now. Keep working on her poetry and keep following her guidance."
She knew that “Canada was not over”. She received such a strong feeling "not to give up on Canada". The lake reassured her, that
"She will find her place and life will get much better for her."
She felt such a lightness because the lake seemed so sure about it. She knew that she never stopped loving Canada and how much it lights up her soul being in nature. It makes her glow from the inside and ignites a fire she thought would have died forever. But it hasn’t and it started to burn again, a bit brighter every day.
The lake is speaking: "Welcome to the magical golden beaches of Lake Coeur d'Alene... Let my calm waters enter your soul and listen to what it has to tell you.. It will speak to you in its own way. Don't wait for it though... it may come in its own time. Just lay your weary heart on my beating shore and know you will be taken care of..."
The sad news though was that the lake also told her "That she needed to let go of what brought her here in the first place." One day, before she had to leave, she went to a coffee shop and wrote her feelings down in a poem:
Goode Bye
It’s not even good-bye and I feel the pain.
Not sure if I see you again.
I will miss falling in your arms.
So close in our hearts, so far apart in our lives.
I want to hide forever in this coffee shop.
I am afraid to go, afraid of losing you.
I know I’m going to miss you.
I am home in your arms; my soul is at peace.
With you I can be me, all I ever wanted.
I know your kiss was real.
I want to leave this world that was never ours.
Knowing we don’t have to face another day.
Knowing we are on our way home.
The pain is gone.
Free from all burdens we are finally together.
Part five
In autumn that same year she decided to finally return to Canada. She remembered her soul dream and flew to Vancouver Island. Her life in Germany was still a mess but she now knew why she had to save her money and her holidays over the past years. It was in preparation of returning to Canada. She was excited and afraid at the same time. It was a dream come true and a terrible fear that her guidance was wrong and not trustworthy and she would end up all alone once more.
Luckily this didn't happen! Quite the opposite. She fell in love with the island, it had a flow, a rhythm close to her own heartbeat. She had chosen Qualicum Beach for a month retreat and it was the perfect place. It's a charming little village right on the Pacific Ocean with beautiful stores and cute little coffee shops. It was a place where she could finally let go and just fall, back into herself. She took strolls along the beautiful beaches and long coffee breaks in one of the local stores. She always felt welcome, where ever she went, she made new friends and there was a warmth in people's hearts she hasn't felt in years. She felt she'd arrived...
Unfortunately she was still extremely exhausted and tired. She almost slept for the entire first week. Her body got so weak, fighting the flew on top. One day she went to the Milner Gardens, an old heritage farmhouse with lovely grounds and gardens to walk around. It was a rainy day and the walk wasn't even that long, maybe 20 minutes, but she felt worse by the minute. When she arrived at the antique restaurant, she just sank into a chair on the window and ordered some hot tea and a warm soup. She was starving and her body felt so cold. But the moment she took her first sip of steaming tea and a spoon of the homemade soup she instantly started to feel a bit better. They had piano music playing in the background and a nice fire was going in the fireplace. "There is nothing better, than the warmth from a real fire" she thought. Outside the sky was still grey and the rain kept pouring. She could even see the ocean from her seat. The waves were high and forceful due to the stormy rainy weather.
Milner Gardens
The afternoon helped her to relax a bit and regain some strengths. She went to the pharmacy to get some medication for her flew. It took another week to really get better.
In the remaining weeks she started writing on her book and kept working on her poetry. She even found an independent editor who helped her with her writing. She often spent time at the fountain in downtown. It was a beautiful fountain, it was magical. She threw a coin in almost every day and made wishes for herself and friends. Every time she stood by the fountain she felt an energy pulsating through her. It was one of the most inspirational and uplifting feelings. It included a vibration of magic. The entire town felt enchanted. Doors started to open and there was an invisible flow that brought her to the right places and people at the right time. Her life seemed like it was mysteriously transformed over night by a fairy godmother or something. She started to believe again, in herself, the universe and that there is still something "good" in this world. Something to live for.
She felt an invitation from the island to come and live here. One sunny afternoon she spent a couple of hours lying on a bench close to the beach. The air was still warm and a slight breeze from the ocean was blowing some leaves towards her. A family of raven settled in a tree in front of her. They were chatting away while she was enjoying the last rays of sunlight before fall. Beside her was a tiny park area with some palm trees and the last flowers glowing in their summer colors. She could hear and feel everything, the ocean ahead, the people strolling by, the black ravens flying off and away and the island itself. It told her:
"That she was invited to come here. That the island had chosen her to come here, not the other way around."
"She was promised that she would find a way to come back here and stay."
The guidance was so strong and clear, that is was impossible for her to forget the feeling and knowing she received that afternoon by the beach.
Towards the end of her trip she went to Ucuelet for a few nights. A tiny fishing village along the west coast, known for its tourism in the summer. She had a condo right at the ocean. It was a small inlet with some boats and a wooden boardwalk.
View from the condo
The next day she visited Middle Beach Lodge in Tofino:
A long time ago, when she was still living in Canada, she was drawn to go to Tofino on Vancouver Island. She felt this "pull" with all her heart and soul. Something was there waiting for her and the moment she arrived and went to the beach, she understood what was calling here, it was the wild west coast. It was so pristine, so pure, so special. She returned a few years later and stayed at the amazing Middle Beach Lodge in Tofino. It was a dream come true. She wanted to stay there forever. There was a wooden desk in the lounge area, right in front of a window with a view over the wide open ocean. It looked like one of those old desks in sunken ships. She had a knowing back then:
"That one day she will return to this place (at a later time in her life.)"
Well, and that day had come now. She spent an entire afternoon outside on the deck in some wooden chairs, soaking up the afternoon sun, while her soul traveled over shimmering blue waters searching for answers, re-connecting with an old friend, the Pacific Ocean. She started writing down all her feelings, thoughts and insights. It was a stream of wisdom flowing through her entire body. In time the wind picked up and she went inside, taking a seat beside the fireplace. The staff offered her a complementary cookie and coffee and she gladly accepted. It was the perfect place for a cookie. While crumbs fell on her lap, she still kept writing until hours later. It was almost getting dark when she drove back to her condo.
The gorgeous Middle Beach Lodge is built on a cliff along the west coast in Tofino, Vancouver Island, overlooking the all-inspiring Pacific Ocean. It's a place of wonder with a mystical presence. If there is one place on earth where miracles still happen, she imagined it to be here. It feels like entering the gate to another dimension.
Her time on the island went by so fast and when she had to say "good by" she didn't want to leave. She didn't want to fly back to Germany and the life that was waiting for her. She hoped she would be able to learn how to bend time before she had to go but it wasn't in the stars for her. Time still moved forward and she had to board her plane. She remembered what the ocean told her a few days before, when she went to the shore and asked for guidance...
"That she shouldn't fight it... this feeling, the sadness, that she didn't want to leave."
"That she can't prepare for what's going to happen next and that she will return once more".
Part six
She arrived in Germany in October and as usual it was hard for her to adjust. Her daily chores kept dragging her down and the inspiration she felt on the island was slowly fading away. She was sad all the time, especially on Thanksgiving and over Christmas. She would have loved to spent the holidays in Qualicum Beach, starting a new life. She just didn't know how to go about it.
Eventually she had enough of the sadness and all the suffering and booked another trip to Canada beginning of January the following year. She just had so somehow survive this year and she did.
First the visited a friend in Calgary and did some day trips to Canmore and Banff. She was looking for closure with the life she had and the sudden move back to Germany over 10 years living in this paradise. She was worried about how she'd feel visiting all those familiar places. Her favorite coffee shops, the book store, driving by the place she once rented. The roads she knew in and out because she drove them every day.
Gosh, the mountains still took away her breath. They were still gorgeous but she felt she had changed. They didn't feel as tempting anymore as in the past. The invitation she once received from them felt expired. She still liked their presence and the breathtaking landscape they provided but it didn't seem like the place she belonged anymore. She felt "relieved" when she came back to Calgary.
She enjoyed the time she'd spent with her friends. It was like she never left, they just picked up where they left off and it was such a comfortable place to be.
Two weeks later she continued her journey to Qualicum Beach, Vancouver Island. She stayed at a beautiful cabin on an acreage, surrounded by rain forest. The land felt sacred and blessed.
Another beautiful month was ahead of her. She met again with her editor further discussing her poetry and book and she treasured the times they met in a coffee shop looking out the window while it was pouring rain. They enjoyed hot beverages and entered into their own world. It felt like a scene from a Hallmark movie.
She met new people and soon became friends with them. They invited her for dinner and breakfast and soon they almost felt like family. Even the locals started to remember her. She always went into the same shops and enjoyed talking to the owners or their staff.
Towards the end of her trip, she decided to take a trip with one of her new friends to explore the west coast while driving to Victoria. They visited a few beaches in Port Renfrew on their way. When she walked out of the mighty rain forest, a gorgeous view opened up towards a wild beach that made her heart jump. Something inside her came alive. It was breathtaking, standing there, with her friend, alone, just this huge wide open beach, the ocean sparkling in the sunshine and a taste of salt in the air. She felt free beyond measure. She felt like she could do anything. She realized that something on this coastline holds a magic key to her soul. They continued to see a few other beaches and stayed overnight in Victoria.
Back in Qualicum Beach, the days flew by and she just wanted to relax for the rest of the time. She went back to yoga and enjoyed being in her cabin watching the snow. They got a big snowfall and stores had to close down earlier that day. It was like a late Christmas. "Maybe some wishes do come true" she thought while walking back to the fountain. The town looked so pretty in all the heavy snow and ice.
The good-bye felt like "groundhog day" all over. She went back to the ocean and the Pacific was rough that day. A cold wind was blowing in her face but she went out of her car and waited for the ocean to say something... well, something that would soothe her tired soul.
The ocean kept telling her
"That she will come back but first she needs to take care of some things..."
Part seven
When she came back to Germany, she finished her poetry and sent it to a few publishers. While editing her poems she realized they contained hidden messages... She learned that she had to accept her feelings and listen to them, no matter if they were pleasant or not and most of the time they were not pleasant at all. But exactly this crucial pain, that made her sometimes feel paralyzed, also set her free. It put her on a different path, an authentic path.
She started working on her way back to Canada. She looked into work permits, updated her resume, translated some of her letter of references and signed up for an english test to be able to prove her english language skills, once she was ready to file for "immigration" for the second time in her life.
She still does not know how her story will end, or better unfold, but she started to recognize that this voice never let her down. What it was saying was always true. It carries a kind of truth and authenticity that is hard to find and she promised herself to listen to it more deeply from now on. She doesn't want to second guess it anymore. In the end this voice is all she has left. For years, her life stopped making sense but now it starts to make sense again, at least to her soul and she is more committed then ever to follow her inner guidance and take on this quest. She truly believes that it was already written within the stars, long before she was even born.
The journey continues...
